I write this morning as an avowed ‘non-angler’, so it may come as some surprise for you to learn that I was wrangled-to-angle by my six-year old and four-year old grandsons, Jackson and Cooper.

They were visiting with their mum recently and worked into conversation that they LOVED fishing and that ‘Grand dad Peter takes us’ fishing quite a lot.

So, an early morning drive to Clifton Beach and some borrowing gear from neighbours was followed by the three of us on Four Mile Beach, talking (them, a lot) and learning (me, a lot) about fishing and life in general. My special time with my two older grandsons.

Eventually conversation turned to ‘general knowledge’ at which time Old Mate’s chest took the familiar large puff, knowing we were entering a subject which Old Mate liked to think was his forte.

“Old Mate”, asked Jackson, my oldest grandson. “What can you tell us about The Great Wall?”

Well, having studied Chinese History at High School, I knew I was in my element, and expounded from memory what I knew of The Great Wall.

“Young Mate, I’m glad you asked” I started, as he and Cooper looked at me expectantly, and I gazed out to sea, remembering those halcyon days of the late ‘60’s.

“The Great Wall was initially built from about 700 BC, though the existing structure really is more recent – from about 220-206 BC by Qin, the First Emperor of China. It was rebuilt during the Ming Dynasty which ruled China between about 1360 and 1640 AD,” I said, not accurately recalling the dates of the Dynasty’s Rule, despite repeated viewings of The Antique Roadshow.

“It was built to protect China from the Nomadic tribes of The Steppes, as well as to allow duty to be paid on imported goods and to keep control of migration into China.  It stretches some 8,800km, and includes actual constructed walls, trenches and natural land formations, hills, cliffs, etc.”

I beamed inwardly at my memory and turned to look at how much the boys were impressed and pleased by Old Mate’s response. Jackson looked along his fishing line with a look that indicated acceptance of Old Mate’s failing mental acuity. Cooper looked up at me with that gorgeous look a grandson gives his grandpa when he doesn’t understand.

“But Old Mate, Jackson meant the OTHER Great Wall.  You’re funny, Old Mate.”

“Oh, sorry Little Mate, I thought your brother was asking about The Great Wall of China. Fortunately, I also know a bit about the OTHER Great Wall. Are you ready?”

Young Mate and Little Mate looked up at me and laughed – “Yes, Old Mate, tell us.”

Well, the fish weren’t biting so I started out on The (other) Great Wall, again looking out to sea as the kite surfers took advantage of the prevailing southeasterly breeze.

“Well, boys, I’ll tell you. The Great Wall is China’s largest builder of sport utility vehicles and in Australia sells its Family Wagons and Sports and Work Utilities in such volume that in excess of 30,000 vehicles have been sold in the Australian market in just 7 years. 

The wagon sells for about $27,00 and the ute from about $25,000. Some people argue ‘yeah but they’ll only be worth $10,000 in five years so why would you buy one?’ I tell them, boys, that they only paid mid $20s for the car so the real loss is minimal.”

Having finished on another of my favourite discussions – depreciation of motor vehicles – I looked down to Jackson and Cooper who both looked confused. I wasn’t sure whether it was what I’d said or that the fish weren’t biting.

“No, Old Mate” they both chimed in together. “The Great Wall of Port Douglas”.

“Ah, so you’ve seen it?” I asked.

“Course we have, Old Mate. We see it every time we come to visit and you take us into town for an ice cream or a coke” said Jackson.

“You haven’t told mum and Grandma about the ice cream and coke, have you?” I (sort of) demanded.

“No, but mummy saw the Great Wall yesterday” says little Cooper – gee, you’ve got to love the look on his beautiful, innocent face.

“Well, that’s a subject that requires your full concentration”.

The boys poked the handles of their fishing rods in the sand just like Old Mate (and just like Old Mate had been taught by HIS dad), and joined me sitting in a triangle on the beach, listening intently.

“You see, boys, behind THAT Great Wall there used to be a lovely little camping ground and caravan park, called Vacation Village. People once came from far and wide to spend their holidays at Vacation Village.”

Dear Little Mate, Cooper, looked at me rather quizzically and asked, “Why don’t they come there anymore, Old Mate?”

“Well,” I offered, now sounding like a prophet rather than just a grandfather.

“Because the Great Wall was built to keep them out. You see, boys, sometimes grown-ups do some funny things. They call it ‘Progress’, but what they actually do is spoil what nature intended to be a lovely spot for people to enjoy their camping holidays in places like Port Douglas.”

“The land was sold to a developer – now developers are VERY keen to use words like ‘progress’, ‘new initiatives’ and, well, ‘progress’. So the Council in this area allowed the developer to buy and close off the old Village area and put up some ‘hoardings’. Hoardings are what the Great Wall of Port Douglas are made of – like cheap pieces of ply wood that get painted from time to time.”

At this point, Jackson, the more meditative of the two, scratched in the sand with his right index finger as he considered this. 

“Didn’t you say once that the Great Wall was adorned with pictures of big boats and lovely ladies and restaurants, and......?”

“Of course, you remember. Boat berths – like your grandad’s – at the front door, sophisticated dining in very flash restaurants and ladies in swimming costumes (but we don’t mention them, remember?). Anyway, the builders moved in, destroyed what was left of Vacation Village and started building a new resort.”

“Then what?” asked Jackson, clearly warming to the task of serious questioner and clever older brother.

“Then, the builder and developer decided that they didn’t want to build the resort after all. So they took all their machines, packed up and left (taking the pictures of boat berths and lovely ladies with them) and leaving just the Great Wall. The new resort was even supposed to have an underground spa, and....”

Cooper had been listening whilst building the start of a sand castle between his feet. “I think I saw the spa yesterday Old Mate. After all that raid the night before, the bottom of the resort was filled with water. I think the design was for something far more sophisticated than a rain-water spa, mate.”

Jackson shifted nervously on the sand as something clearly troubled him. “At home, we learn in school that you have to make sure you don’t leave water and rubbish lying around or mosquitoes can breed and people can get very sick from dengee, Old Mate.”

“That DENGUE,” I corrected him, quietly biting myself for correcting my lovely grandson’s use of the word. “Also, your teachers might have told you about the Zika virus?”

“Yes,” said Cooper. “But why doesn’t the developer come back and finish the resort or pull down the walls and turn it back into a holiday park?”

“The area behind the Great Wall has been bought and sold several times over the last few years,” I explained. “No-one’s done anything with the site. The most productive thing ever done on that Great Wall was someone spraying graffiti that said ‘Newman is a dick'."

The boys both laughed that boyish giggle they do when they hear a ‘naughty word’.

“Then, the Council ordered the Great Wall to be painted Green. Then someone else painted some graffiti about love – LOVE – and life, and the Council had that covered with a different green so that it now looks like a green giraffe.”

That set the boys off.

“Old Mate, why doesn’t the Council make someone knock over the wall and fix the site so that people can use it again? Why can’t we go in there? Why does everyone who drives into Port Douglas have to look at that ugly Great Wall?” Jackson said.

“Boys, I think it’s time to pull our lines in and head in to town for some ice cream and coke,” I blurted out. “We’ll talk about this more another time. In the meantime, don’t you dare tell mum or grandma about the ice cream and coke!”