Tom Gleeson

THE NEWSPORT: Have you been to FNQ before or will this be your first time?

TOM GLEESON: No, I've been a few times. I was actually in Port Douglas last year - I had a holiday there for a week. I spent a lot of time down at the (Port Douglas) Yacht Club, and I went up to Mossman Gorge for a bit.

But I can't say that they're unique discoveries, I have a feeling those secrets are out - I think people know about them! I had lots of great times there.

The first time I did shows in Cairns was 2001, with the Melbourne Comedy Festival Road Show. So I've been up to Cairns a few times, but I haven't done a show there for a couple of years now.

TNP: Did you have any say in coming up to FNQ?

TG: Yeah, Peter Hellier and I wanted to come up.

TNP: Does the show have an angle or theme?

TG: Pete and I were just doing stand-up and have been doing the festival circuit with our own shows. So this is a co-headline show where we just come up and do the best of what we've got. So there's no theme in particular, it's just a stand-up show.

I can't speak for Pete, but for me, I'm talking about being a new father (is one of the things in my show), give iPhones a bit of a flogging.

TNP: When was the last time you were heckled?

I did some shows in Sydney just last week at the Sydney Comedy Store, and a guy yelled out - he said that I was nothing. (laughs)

To be fair, and I might do this in Cairns, at the end of my show I like to ask for feedback, cause I like to see what people have thought. So if anyone didn't like the show, it's their chance to mention it, rather than putting it on Twitter or Facebook. They can just yell it out in-show, where we can all handle it as a group. But this guy yelled I was nothing - it was sort of in context, but I reminded him that everyone had paid to see me, so in this particular context, I was something.

TNP: Are any topics off-limits?

TG: No, I try to have a go at everything. To me, if there's a topic that I can't make work, it just might mean that I haven't made it work YET.

I mean, I've seen comedians do stand-up jokes about September 11 a week after it happened. I've seen stand-up make jokes about Princess Diana a week after she died. So I've seen it done, it just depends on whether you get the right angle or not.

I had a bit in my show this year where I was making fun of a priest who, during a christening, was defending keeping the confessional confidential. Which essentially means if someone confesses to child abuse, he would keep it a secret. And I was saying that to defend a paedophile at a christening is a little bit tacky. And it's fine - I'm not making fun of victims of child abuse, obviously. I'm making fun of the church and the priest's ability to cover up that child abuse.

I don't think anything is off-limits - it's more about how you come at it. I've done shows in the Middle East in front of the troops, and I've made fun of everyone over there. And people say, "surely you can't make fun of people in a war zone!" and it's like, well no, you can - it just depends what angle you come from.

Peter Helliar

THE NEWSPORT: You’re coming to Cairns next month, is this your first time to FNQ?

PETER HELLIAR: No, I’ve been to the Far North before, in fact, I’ve been to Cairns as part of the Melbourne Comedy Festival Roadshow many years ago. 

I’ve been to Port Douglas. Further north..uhh…I might need a map in front of me! (laughs)...what’s on top of Port Douglas?

TNP: Mossman. Further up is the Daintree, Cape Tribulation…

PH: No, I haven’t been up there. I would love to, I would love to.

TNP: It’s assumed most talented comedians are bitter and unhappy. Is that what makes you great? Or what keeps you positive?

PH: (Laughs) That’s not my experience of our industry and our community, any comedian who does get bitter usually falls behind, because any time you’re looking over your shoulder, you’re not concentrating on what’s important.

And that’s writing material and being the best comedian you can. All the guys who’ve been successful  - guys and girls – in comedy, they’ve all worked really hard, and all stayed positive. And they’ve all supported each other.

There’s a great new wave of young talent coming though, and I’m really supportive of that. Because I want to be good in a good industry, I don’t want to be good in an industry that’s ordinary.  I love that there’s people like Ronnie Chang and Matt O’Kind, and Luke McGregor and Stewie Quoll coming through, keeps our whole industry fresh.

TNP: Do you ever get (comedy) writer’s block?

PH: You always get a fear that you’re going to stop and nothing will be funny anymore.

TNP: Any go-to topics?

PH: I just try to look at what’s going on. Probably years ago, you’d think of topics – “Mosquitos, what’s funny about mosquitos?” or “Summer, what’s funny about summer?” – and now, my comedy’s become more real; I look at stuff that’s happening to me.

I was chatting to [american comic] Greg Barron in Sydney, we did the Opera House, just the last show together. He does a great podcast, 'Walk in the Room', and he’s been doing comedy as long as I have – longer even.

He’s got two daughters and I’ve got two boys, and he said, “I never wanted to do material about my kids, but it’s impossible not to, because that’s how you’re spending your life, and if you want to talk about what’s honest to you, then you have to."

And also they give you such golden opportunities – they present such ripe material that it’d be stupid not [talk about them]. I still think you’ve got to find your own voice, and not do it in the same way Ray Romano would do it. I always kinda look at what’s happening to me, and around me, and stuff just kinda comes up.

It’s funny, I was almost not going to do the festival shows next year – the festival runs – it’s an hour of new material, and when it’s July/August and you haven’t really started thinking about it, you kind of go, oh it’s a big mountain to climb, I don’t know if I can do it again!

But I went up to Brisbane and did a sit-down gig, and did maybe two or three jokes that consisted of maybe three minutes in total of just little premises, and you just kind of throw them out. And they got a good reaction, and you think, 'okay, I think I can build a 57-minute show around them, I can add the other 57 minutes later!' So that was probably about a month ago, and that three minutes has become half an hour, and now I’m way ahead of schedule for the festivals launch, and I can’t wait to do the new stuff. And some of the older stuff in Cairns.

TNP: Do you have a solid one-liner joke that you always keep handy?

PH: I don’t tell a lot of jokes, but the one I tell is:

A man in a balaklava walks in to a bank, and he says, “This is a f*** up.” And the teller behind the counter says, “Don’t you mean a hold-up?” And he goes, “Na, forgot my gun.”