by Mat Churchill

Australians, generally speaking, are terrible when it comes to talking about death, especially the death of a baby or child.

Death, as a part of life, is often sent to the back of the classroom to be ignored. But death demands our attention. It will gain it through our own free will or by forcing us to deal with it through the relentless build up of emotional pressure.

One local group is committed to helping people address the inevitable emotions that are associated with losing a child.

SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal death) is a support group for anyone who has been touched by pregnancy or infant loss, regardless of the cause.

SANDS facilitator, Nerissa Healey, knows only too well the heartbreak that comes with the death of a child.

Nerissa lives at Cooya Beach after moving from Melbourne around two years ago. Nerissa lost her seven week old daughter, Milaya, and found support was limited in our area compared to Melbourne.

"After calling SANDS when I was looking for support I was informed that the group was not running and had not been for sometime because they didn't have anyone to facilitate the group," Nerissa said.

"I decided I would put my hand up to facilitate, and fortunately at the same time a Kelly (also a SANDS facilitator) contacted me and wanted to be involved as well."

That was in December 2008, and since then Nerissa and Kelly have been running monthly meetings in Smithfield, and providing telephone and email support for people who can't, or don't want to, attend a support group.

"We have a lot more people call than actually attend the meetings," Nerissa said. "It can be really hard for people to step outside their comfort zone, especially at such a vulnerable time in their life.

"Having said that, we do have enough people attend to make up numbers for a decent meeting, Kelly and I both agree that as long as people are aware that support is there for them then they can use the group as they please."

SANDS is holding a 'Walk to Remember' on Sunday, 17 October from 9am.

Participants will meet at the Pirate Ship at the south end of Cairns Esplanade and, after a name reading ceremony, will take a short walk to the jetty and release a balloon to remember our children.

"We want to honour the babies who will never take their own steps in life and to create awareness about what can be a taboo subject," Nerissa said.

Everyone is welcome to attend, and for more information on the Walk to Remember, or the SANDS support group, please call Nerissa on 4098 3089 or Kelly on 4033 7917.