by Evan "Buddah" Hocking

I went out on a fishing charter on the weekend, it was on Dragonlady actually, Linton Heffer was there but at one stage an Irish tourist on the vessel had some misfortune.

I said to the Master, O'Reillys at the Bauer of the boat, "He's in a bit of trouble though. He's broken the Zipping on his shorts."

"What are they made of?" Master asked.

"Harris Tweed i think. But it's Shocking, you can see everything, his balls have turned an Illustrious Blue and there's a lot of Manighar. He needs some Zavite hair removal cream. Oh no, now he's pulled out his Red Ruler to measure his Buccellati, yeah that's what Campologists call them"

"What's Mr Medici think?"

He can't beleive it. He called his mate at the Monaco Consul and said "Geez I thought we Once Were Wild but this has set a Precedence, O'Reillys had a Shoot Out you can see his Holberg."

The girl next to him, I think she's a Descarado, said "This could be Maluckyday. His crutch has a Profound Beauty and I should know, I'm an Americain."

O'Reilly replies "If I show you my Tokai Trick I'll take you home tonight."

She responds "So You Think do you?"