by Nick Gibson

Well this sporting fortnight has been largely centred around the Poms on Australian soil.

While reigning AFL premiers Collingwood tackles the high altitude Grand Canyon in an attempt to sweat out all the premiership party booze, all eyes were focussed on another Collingwood, by the name of Paul, who smashed us around the park in the second test at Adelaide, and another Pom by the name of Beckham!

While the Aussies have been far from impressive in the lead up to the first test and with question marks about our captain, our best XI were unlucky to only get a draw.

The Poms or POHMS (Persons Of Her Majesty's Service) quickly proved they are on the improve and ready to pounce at any Aussie weaknesses by taking command in the second test.

Beckham on the other hand dominates a larger ball. The money making machine came out for a soccer ‘friendly’ and even though his team failed to score, the fans flocked in their droves to get a glimpse of one of the world’s most famous people.

At 34 he seems to think his ‘pro’ days are not done yet and fancies a spot in the English side for the next world cup. If the English hierarchy don’t give him one last crack at a national ‘cap’ it will be about the only crack Becks has not been able to get thus far in an enthralling career!
 
As good as Beckham is however, he is no Shane Warne. As a professional cricketer Warnie was the fly in your soup or the salt rimmed on your margarita glass. I’m glad he was on our side!

But how does he not only get away with what he does but also get hailed a national hero? He drinks heaps of booze, smokes, entertains many women (allegedly), has photos of threesomes hit the top papers, uses amphetamine based diet pills, need i go on?

Most of us would be beheaded for one of these atrocities but not only is it ok for Warnie – it’s legendary! Why? Because he’s Shane Warne that’s why! It just goes to show you don’t need to be able to bend em’ like Beckham if you’ve got a red hot flippa!

And let’s not leave it at that, let’s give him his own talk back show. Warnie for PM? You betcha!
 
In basketball news Ayinde Ubaka may sound like the name of an Indian curry or African city but he is a man proving so far to be the recruit of the year for the Cairns Taipans!

In their last two outings they have beaten last year’s grand finalists and ‘Chewy’ has been the ‘salted rim’ for the 'Snakes'. Of these wins they beat Perth in Perth which is easier said than done and took care of Wollongong at home on Saturday night, at one stage holding a 31 point buffer.

Are the Snakes the real deal this season? The signs are very good and if Chewy can stay healthy and keep distributing the ball to our big guys I’m tipping our best post season ever!    
 
That’s the wrap for this week groovers, and don’t forget when you’re feeling a bit on the tooth, go and see Draino and his team of sexy girls at Under Wraps. And remember, if you can’t work your way around the whole menu, you’ll never have your own talk show!!!