by Nick Gibson


Our Aussie cricketers have had to endure a week of soul searching after losing the second test. Australia has ruled the pitch for quite some time and I guess when you are on top for so long there is only one place to go – down!

Our selectors have wielded the axe and are now going to pin our hopes on untried Beer! That’s right, Michael Beer has only played five first class matches and admits he wasn’t even a professional cricketer just 12 months ago.

But the left arm spinner has one huge asset to Australian cricket – the surname Beer! The tabloids, crowds, commentators and sports writers will have a field day with this - starting right now.
 
Saturday’s Cairns Post read ‘Beer is the Answer’ and we all know that’s true.

When he's not getting a bowl will the hoodlums from Bay 13 sing ‘more Beer more Beer more Beer’? I reckon. 

Imagine if it was Aussie Beer that helps us retain the Ashes! What if Warnie makes a comeback and Michael Beer wags the tail with him to help him to a century. Will the tabloids read ‘Warnie relies heavily on Beer’? Yep!

What if he makes his own century – Michael enjoys 100 beers? Somebody stop me...
 
Having an Aussie cricketer named Beer is as ironic as having a Pommy cricketer named Collingwood.

It’s a proven fact that most Australians hate Collingwood but love Beer. A large section of our southern population love both. What if Paul Collingwood smashes Michael Beer all over the park, ‘Collingwood loves Beer’, or vice versa ‘Collingwood can't face Beer today’.

I’m moving on from this topic immediately...
 
The Cairns Taipans, like our cricketers, copped a reality check this round but trust me there are no panic stations. I watched the game live on ONE HD (God bless you channel 10) and it was a case of the ‘Kirk Penney’ show!

This Kiwi can seriously hoop and he decided to have his game of the year against our Snakes. Watching it was like a walk down memory lane from the Gaze era.

‘Drewy’ in his prime would quite often be a class above as well and Penney is in the same vein. He only just missed the cut with the San Antonio Spurs so expect Penney to be a thorn in the side of most opposing clubs this season.

Imagine if his surname was Beer. ‘Beer too good for Snakes’ or ‘Coach Fearne can’t handle Beer’. How about ‘Beer kills Taipans’ or ‘Early Beer has heads spinning'.
 
I need a beer...